Dialogue: Someone being told something they don’t want to hear.

“This is so good.” Martina said.

The waiter appeared, and stood next to her with his hands clasped together. “Hi, excuse me - ma’am?”

“It’s so tender and flavourful. It tastes just like the real thing! Not that I’ve had the real thing in a while.”

“Sorry, ma’am?” the waiter tried again.

“Everything is great and all our food is here. Thank you,” said Martina. “Oh actually - could I get another glass of wine?”

“No. I mean, sure...but, I mean that’s not what I came here for.”

Martina was impatient. Her brows furrowed as she chewed. “Well? What is it then?”

“There’s something you should know,” the waiter said. He unclasped his hands and clasped them together again.

“Well, spit it out! Did someone die?”

The waiter looked horrified for a second before adjusting his collar. He cleared his throat.

“The kitchen got your dish mixed up so you have our regular pot pie instead of the vegan pot pie,” the waiter blurted out.

“What?” Martina looked incredulous. The fork dropped from her hand. “What did you just say?”

“The kitchen got—”

“I HEARD what you said!”

“I-I yes, of course,” said the waiter, “I’m sorry. We’re sorry. Can we replace the dish for you?”

“Replace the dish?” Martina was turning red. “That’s all you’ve got? I specifically ordered the vegan pot pie. You told me it was vegan and made with faux chicken. I’ve already eaten half of it. You’re going to just replace it?”

“Yes, well if there’s something else we can—”

“It’s been nine years since I’ve been vegan. And tonight I went to a restaurant just wanting to treat myself and I get served meat.”

“We’re terribly sorry, ma’am,” said the waiter. “If there’s something else you’d like on the house, we are happy to—”

“Do you know what it’s like to have a dead corpse inside your body?” Martina asked. And to be digesting it???”

“I...well, actually, yes I do.”

“I can’t deal with the guilt and shame of digesting it,” Martina said. “This is disgusting. How does that even happen? You had ONE job.”

“The pies look rather sim—”

“I really don’t appreciate my moral beliefs and personal choices being undermined right now.” Martina spat out, grabbing her coat.

“Not at all,” the waiter said. “I’m really sorry and we assure you this is the first time it’s—”

“Do you think I care?” Martina said. “I’m going to go make myself throw up.”